SOME THOUGHTS ON PERSONAL PROGRESS
Posted: September 18, 2015 Filed under: action, consciousness, exercise, fear, perception, perserverance, self discipline, self improvement | Tags: action, consciousness, exercise, fear, perception, perserverance, self discipline, self improvement Leave a comment
Looking for quick fixes? A fool and his money are quickly separated. “The Cardsharps” Caravaggio 1595
We all have issues and problems we are working on…or not working on. Whether it’s weight loss, anger, drug addiction or whatever, there is some demon we all need to face. But of all the people with all the problems, how many end up conquering or at least making headway with such matters? One in five? One in ten? I am willing to bet the ratio is more like one in one hundred or more. Why do so many try and fail? As I have said before self discipline is a huge factor in making progress regardless of the goal but there is a misperception when it comes to realistic rates of progress.
If you have put on 50 or 100 lbs over the course of 10 or 15 years then how long is it really going to take to get it off? If you have let your anger issues cook for 40 years do you really think you are going to just stop getting pissed overnight? These holes we have dug for ourselves have taken some time to fabricate and will take some time to correct. If it takes two years to lose the weight that took ten years to accumulate then that’s a pretty good turn around, I’d say. How many complications in life can be restored quicker than it took to screw it up in the first place? Not many. Problems can be repaired if we just show up and do the work of changing behaviors rather than focusing on some idyllic goal. Yes, it is important to have a set goal but not as important as having established habits, for it is the habit that will produce the results needed to attain the goal.
We live in an age of quick fixes. “Lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks!” “Turn your financial strife around with our two hour seminar!” And my personal favorite: “pop this pill and you will feel better”. Bullshit! The folks that peddle this nonsense are trying to sell you something. They do not want you to conquer these demons, because if you do, you won’t need their “expertise” or product. Their only aim is to separate you from your money…again and again if possible. This is why we fail repeatedly at our objective. We are looking for a quick fix so we can get on with our life and not have to confront the demons we have invoked.
Here is the nasty little secret nobody on t.v. is going to tell you. Whatever your problem may be, it is a result or a symptom of your past behaviors and decisions. The reason you’re fat is because you haven’t been exercising or eating correctly, probably for a long time. You’re broke and the bills are behind because you don’t keep a checkbook register and you fritter your money away on shit. And the reason you’re relationships sucks is because for the last 20 years you have been at the bar “having a good time” at the expense of everything else. The underlying problem is an aversion to doing the hard stuff. We just want to be comfy and content, so we stick our heads in the sand, leaving our asses exposed.
We need to get it in our heads that these struggles and subsequent victories over them are the essential. These are the things that are going to make life fulfilling. You can buy that new couch or gadget but in a week or so, when the novelty wears off, you are going to be right back where you started. Quick fixes don’t fix anything. They only delay our real work.
Another hang up in our quick fix society is the idea of progress being linear, the thought that progress will be a straight line from “A” to “B”…it’s not. Progress is made in spurts and sputters. Its three steps forward, one step back, four steps forward, two steps back. This is how nature works. We have all been witness to the new exercise enthusiast, who after years of sitting at a desk and eating doughnuts, decides they will now be a fitness machine (this usually takes place about January 1). They start hard out of the gates and look to make endless progress until they reach their unrealistic goal… in record time, no less. In reality, they end up making little in the way of progress because they are so sore and discouraged they dread even the thought of going to the gym. Or they may push through the pain and soreness only to injure themselves and have to hang up their brand new Nikes and relinquish themselves to the sofa once again. In my opinion, this is a way we self sabotage our efforts. After all, if we get injured we also get to perpetuate the methods of doing things we are most comfortable with…and the cycle continues. Our subconscious is a slippery bitch.
Getting chummy with the idea of lifelong commitments is where our attention should be focused if we are to achieve any meaningful growth. Nobody says “I’m gonna meditate for the next four weeks and that should fix my anger problems for good”. No, it’s a long term proposition and that’s how these obstacle should be approached. Replacing shitty habits with new more productive ways of doing things is the real key to change. Slow and steady wins the race.
The guy who is drinking his lunch and fucking up his entire life doesn’t have a disease, he is just caught in a loop of poor habits and too afraid to change it. If this same person was mindful of the behaviors shaping his life, he could make efforts to change them. He could go for a walk around the park, instead of a walk to the liquor store. He could start going to jiu jitsu class instead of going out with the fellas. If he were able to do this for several months, establishing a new approach to life and veering away from the old patterns of behavior that were crippling him in the past , then the wiring would begin to change. He could start to look at other behaviors that might not be conducive to his sobriety and begin to build a completely new way of conducting his life. It’s our old scripts and daily habits that keep us in our ruts.
We are all after self esteem, not a six pack of abs. The six pack will be the result of the life we are living day to day, year to year. The financial security we so desperately seek will show up when we show up and do the things that bring about such circumstances. No DVD course, for three easy payments of $99.95, is going to fix our fuck-ups. Only we will fix our fuck-ups, and we can only do this if we commit to fighting the fight for the rest of our lives, building the habits and methods that enhance life. Quit focusing on results and instead focus on doing the work, the results are the by-product of your actions. Slow down, pace yourself, this is a marathon, not a drag race. We will never arrive and if you think you have, then buddy, you have work to do.
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”
Fredrick Douglas
WALKING PAPERS FOR MY ANGER
Posted: September 16, 2015 Filed under: anger, fear, observation, perception, self improvement | Tags: anger, fear, observation, perception, self improvement Leave a comment
My old friends Anger and Rage,
We have been together for many years. You have been by my side through thick and thin. You have given me strength when I found myself lacking. You have delivered me from scrapes when running away wasn’t an option and you have persuaded others to show me respect when I had none for myself. You have also at times been the catalyst for self improvement and change.
But you have also hurt me. Your insolence has resulted in immense anguish and embarrassment. You have harmed those closest to me. You have been the cause of untold damages to my health, property and well being as well as destroyed relationships that can never be repaired. You have repeatedly interjected yourself into situations where you simply weren’t needed. You have taken from me time and money, and you have turned me from the bullied into the bully… all while I silently watched and did nothing.
At one time you were one of my closest friends and I truly needed you. You gave me strength when my environment demanded it. But those days are long gone and your services just aren’t required. You are a troglodyte of sorts and are incapable of comprehending the language I now wish to speak. In short, you have outstayed your welcome.
From this day forward, I will no longer be your puppet. I will no longer be manipulated and exploited by you. You will no longer snap at those I love. There was a time when you answered to me but you have long since grown into a monster that serves no purpose in my world. I appreciate what you have done for me and all we’ve been through but this relationship no longer suits me or my family and has come to an end. I am not asking but rather telling you, scram, go kick rocks. You do not exist in my world. Goodbye and good riddance.
“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”
Buddha
SPIRITUAL WAREFARE
Posted: September 4, 2015 Filed under: consciousness, fear, observation, perception, perserverance, self improvement | Tags: consciousness, fear, observation, perception, perserverance, self improvement Leave a comment
Tormented much? Joos van Craesbeeck (1605-1660) understood the demons of the mind all too well when he painted “the Temptation of Saint Anthony”
This week’s post was written by my wife Steph. She wrote it for me a few weeks ago when I was doubting the path I am on. Everything and everyone was pissing me off for whatever reason. I had the feeling that I was wasting my time…wasting everyone’s time with this nonsense and I was never going to make any lasting change in my life. So one night I came home from work and my wife presented me with this writing. It was just what I needed to hear. It got me thinking in a different direction and got me back on track. She had no intention of letting me put it on my blog, but with a little coaxing she agreed. She has helped me so much over the years and this is just one example of the kind of support she brings to my life… thanks Baby, I love you.
Ephesians 6:10-18 New International Version (NIV)
The Armor of God
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
I have become a philosophy lover of late…I was once a crucifix-wearing, bible-thumping Christian, please do not be offended if you are a Christian. Offense was not intended, these were just some of the names that I was called when I was a practicing Christian. I no longer think of myself as a Christian. I would call myself “Spiritual.”
Being a Christian was a beautiful and sad experience for me. I discovered God in a way that I never knew existed. I felt the Presence of Peace. A Peace that surpasses all understanding. It was a high that I had never experienced and through prayer and meditation… I discovered bliss.
It was during my years as a Christian that I discovered spiritual warfare. I became a prayer warrior. I prayed with a group of other ladies every Monday. It was amazing. I saw miracles happen! People were healed, marriages were saved, wayward teens found their way again, financial prayers were answered…all because a bunch of ladies came together and prayed. (I now have a little different perspective on that, will come back to it later…)
I learned that although physical things in life could be dangerous, the real danger was spiritual. Doubt, Depression, Anger, Rage, Jealousy, Greed, Lust, Envy, Anxiety, Fear, etc…these feelings and emotions could be downright deadly. We referred to them as spirits. There are also good spirits to counteract the bad, Love, Peace, Harmony, Generosity, Faith, Hope, Kindness, Calm…I discovered the more I prayed for myself and other people, the more I was “attacked.” For instance if I prayed for healing for someone, and it worked, one of my children would become ill. If I prayed for Peace in my home, everyone fought more. I would wake before everyone, pray for everyone in the home, and place the “Armor of God” on all of us. I discovered that if I overslept and didn’t pray or “arm myself,” so to speak, everything went wrong. I became fanatical about praying, I didn’t miss prayer time. I wrote scripture everywhere. I began to see things differently. The more I worked on myself and the more spirits I exorcised, the more attacks would come.
I remember thinking, “God, can you give me a break? I am getting tired and I need to rest”. And miraculously there would be a ladies prayer retreat, I would get together with other prayer warriors and we would boost everyone up, we would all be recharged and we would be back in the fight again, fighting the Good Fight. The fight is not flesh and blood but spiritual.
Although I am no longer a practicing Christian, I have retained my knowledge. I have since expanded and opened myself to all matter of faiths and religions. They are all wonderful, they all have something to offer, they all have their kookiness and quirks. I am Oglala and Sicangu Lakota an have recently embraced the spirituality of my ancestors. I have been to Inipi (sweat lodge), I have been to a Lowampi (healing ceremony), and I will soon experience my naming ceremony, where I will be given my Lakota name. I also meditate daily. I still pray daily. I still put on the Armor of God, and I still notice that when I don’t, things still go wrong.
Anytime you are working on yourself, making changes to yourself, trying to better yourself, you will be attacked. If you are working on not being angry, more things will make you angry, if you work on overcoming lust, pornography will come out of the woodwork! And whatever you do, never pray for patience, every time I did, I got pregnant! True story! And everyone who has children knows that nothing on earth will try your patience more than a child! Unless of course you want children, then by all means, give Patience a try 🙂 As a mother of 5, I have finally learned my lesson.
Prayer is a form of meditation. Everyone does theirs in their own way. There have been studies done on prayer and meditation showing a decline in crime, healing, etc…so back when I was a prayer warrior and every lady there was focused on a specific prayer, it happened. This is what I was referring to in the 3rd paragraph. All of those ladies, myself included, focused all of that unified energy on one thing and things happened! We prayed as ONE, we used the God in us to help others.
There is another scripture, Matthew 18:20 where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I. God is in prayer, in meditation, in everything and in everyone. We are all God and God is us. We are all part of a whole. Therefore, where two or more people gather to pray, your prayers are exponentially more powerful, and things happen. Don’t take my word for it, give it a try, not a half-hearted attempt, you must truly believe that your prayer is answered before you pray it…and it will be!
Christianity was very limiting in that you are not to look at other religions. The Christian God is a jealous God…if I had a dollar for everytime I heard that one! I even had someone tell me that I should no longer associate with my Aunt who invited me to Inipi. That the Lakota way was a form of witchcraft. I also am the mother of a homosexual son. Oh yeah, if I was still a practicing Christian, that is a big no no! This is the part of Christianity that made me sad. I choose not to be limited or condemned. My God is bigger than all of that. For me to say I am God, is blasphemous to a Christian. The truth is, I am, and so are you and so is the bum down the street.
The Lakota have an expression, Mitakuye Oyasin, “We Are All Related” or “All My Relations”. The Lakota have a medicine wheel which has 4 colors, Black, White, Red and Yellow, which represents all of the people of the earth, it also represents the four directions, the four elements, the four types of creatures (two-legged, four-legged, the winged, the crawlers), the circle of life, or creation as a whole. We are all connected, all related, all ONE.
So just remember that, anytime you are making changes for betterment, you will be attacked, no matter your religion or what you believe. Just keep praying, meditating, thinking good thoughts, chanting, whatever it is you do. Do it more, you are making progress! Even if it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere, continue to fight the good fight, keep on keeping on, when things get bad, it’s usually before a major breakthrough. You are a spiritual being, you are worthy, you are strong, you are a warrior, you are me and I am you. Mitakuye Oyasin…
THE GREATER JIHAD
Posted: July 17, 2015 Filed under: consciousness, fear, observation, perception, perserverance, self discipline, self improvement | Tags: consciousness, fear, observation, perception, perserverance, self discipline, self improvement Leave a comment
As I write this, I am in the midst of great change, change that is taking place on many levels. As with any transformation, I am experiencing a great deal of discomfort. I have recently come off of Paxil after 20 years of use and as a result, I am feeling things that I haven’t felt in a long time. As I go through my day a thought will trigger feelings in me, which opens a rush of emotions that is sometimes hard to manage. I have begun daily yoga, meditation and exercise, which have also brought about a drastic shift. My diet as has also begun to change for the better. I am showing discipline that I always knew I was capable of but rarely displayed. Through all of this amazing, personal revision that is taking place I find myself so uncomfortable that I would quit today if it really thought that was a viable option. And so it goes with the Greater Jihad.
Geoff Thompson relayed the story of Muhammad’s armies returning from war. Some men were injured, some missing limbs, some were dead or dying. Muhammed looking at his men said, “We are finished with the lesser Jihad, now we are starting the Greater Jihad.” To which his men probably said WTF? But it’s true. The Greater Jihad is in everyone of us.
Some answer the call to battle, some never hear it. And still more try to pretend self inquiry doesn’t call to them and fight the lesser Jihad their whole life, never really living up to their true potential. I tell my kids, ” You can lie to the whole world, but you can’t lie to yourself.” The mindless mass that has become our society, are to a greater part, doing just that, afraid to confront inner conflict…real conflict. Most people distract themselves with sex, gossip, drugs, TV, or the newest gadget. The whole time they are lying to themselves by cowering from the Greater Jihad. They disgust themselves with their own weakness and lack of integrity. Some try to hide the lie though conquest of their outer world by making x amount of money, acquiring a lavish lifestyle or somehow dominating their fellow man, never facing the real adversary within. Others wear their cowardice with self loathing, numbing themselves with the intoxicants of sarcasm and pessimism. But once the call to battle has been heard it cannot be unheard. It must be answered or we must live with the shame of our deficiency.
The reason others shun this call to self examination lies in the sheer amount of courage it would required to change their paradigm and conditioning. Self analysis requires questioning your every belief from why you do what you do to your education to your “common sense”. Every aspect of your existence must be put under the microscope and examined. It’s not all rainbows and leprechauns on this path. Fuck NO!! It’s brutal hard work that requires one to drop the bullshit and brave honest self inquiry, but that’s what we must do. We must fight. It’s a fight that requires patience and what one might call testicular fortitude. It’s not a ten second barroom brawl. It is a war of attrition. The Greater Jihad never ceases and will test the grit of any good man or woman. As long as we are here, we are going to be human and this struggle is what being human is all about. It’s time to put down our purses and stop being such fucking Nancys (no offense Nancy). It’s time to face our misperceptions and the fears that keep us from true happiness. This is an endeavor worthy of any soldier that has ever faced extreme adversity. In fact, this is the ONLY endeavor worthy of a warrior…and down deep, we are all warriors. Be Brave.
“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
FEAR
Posted: July 9, 2015 Filed under: consciousness, fear, observation, perception, perserverance, self discipline, self improvement | Tags: consciousness, fear, observation, perception, perserverance, self discipline, self improvement 1 Comment
When I was a boy, I would go to my Grandpa’s shoe shop to hang around and shoot the shit with him. I used to love the smell of the dyes and glues, talking with grandpa and getting some insight to his wisdom. Grandpa had been in WWII at D-Day and was eventually captured by the Germans. He endured extreme hardship over the next 9 months, that I can only imagine. He had been beaten, frozen, and starved. He had escaped and walked over 900 miles and been in a train wreck only to watch his friend get killed before being rescue by allied troops.
As a young boy, I was fascinated by stories of his days as a POW and the trials he went through. One day while listening to the story of his capture and wondering how a person could go through such events and not lose his shit, I asked, “But weren’t you afraid?” Grandpa stopped his work and laid down his hammer. He stepped to the counter, resting his elbow next to the cash register and said, “Well of course I was scared, we were all scared, but we did what men do. We couldn’t let fear get the best of us or we would die.” Over the years, I have often thought about what he told me. I noticed when he told many of his stories he used the word “we” and not “I”. When Grandpa was telling me these stories, he was telling me that we are all fearful at certain points, but if you can keep your head you can get through it and even thrive.
So how can we overcome fear when it has us in it’s clutches? How can we keep our focus when every cell in our body is screaming “run” or “bust shit up”? We do this by being aware. We do this by being present and taking the situation for what it really is, not our twisted vision of it. Half the battle is won once we recognize there is fear that needs addressed. Fear is a perfectly normal and healthy reaction in many instances. If you’re in a life and death struggle with a mountain lion fear is going to be of great utility. Your body will release a mix of adrenaline and other chemicals that will give the “fight or flight” response that is needed to save your ass. But when fear is permitted to creep into other areas of our life and becomes a canned responses, it’s like repairing a fine Swiss time piece with a sledge-hammer… complete overkill. You’re only gonna fuck things up if that is how you approach every situation you are not comfortable with.
The sensations and impulses we get in certain scenarios is nothing more than nature doing her thing but we need to evolve and use our higher faculties. We need not act like the dog humping your leg because it feels the urge. Resisting these urges is usually easier said than done for most folks. Overriding your body’s chemistry with rationale is a skill which requires practice. So like with any new skill expect to drop the ball a few times before you are able to curb the desire to indulge it. This is going to apply to anger as well as anger is nothing more than aggressive fear. Let the impulse come, notice it and doing something different, anything different, walk away, say sorry, do push ups, whatever but don’t react with the same action you would normally rely on. We need to break this habit by breaking this wiring circuit.
Fear offers us an easy way out of situations by avoidance of the underlying problem, but avoidance is for the weak. These fears that keep us hiding and keep us from our higher self must be confronted and conquered if we are to ever move forward. Fear is a bitch. Fear can bully you out of your life if you don’t stand up and run your own show. Fear is the demon that must be slain. Be the warrior, summon the courage and go to battle with this monster. My grandpa did it. The prophet Muhammad did it. Gandhi did it. Even Mike “Fucking” Tyson has done it. They have all faced their fears and come out the victor as you can too if you will not cower.
“As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.”
Chanakya
Prokope' 
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